Wholeheartedness

Maybe this is just in my circles, but the word Wholehearted seems to be thrown around a lot.

What does becoming wholehearted mean?

Do you often feel out of alignment with your purpose and how you are living? If so, how do you embrace wholeheartedness and reject fragmentation?

I'd argue that the root of this practice of living wholehearted must begin with God as God is the source of all love. If God is the source of your identity and worth, and you are seeking him in your life, the fragmentation in life starts to bind together and create a canvas on which you can live life.

So what exactly does God, through scripture, have to say about wholeheartedness?

A foundational passage of scripture is the Shema which is found in Deuteronomy 6. It says "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Expanded a bit: Love the Lord your God with your heart (inner man, will, understanding), soul (living being, self, life), and with all your strength (might, abundance). If you remember, Jesus quoted this (Luke 10:27).

Another area of Scripture that you see the "whole heart" terminology used is in the Psalms: “With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:10-11). And I’ve read countless times where the Psalmist uses the term “whole heart.”

When I think about my whole heart, I can't help but get a little anxious. What would it look like to bring the full capacity of my will, self, glory, and abundance to those around me? And, if I recognize this, what gets in my way living like that? Since wholeheartedness can seem so opaque, I'll give you some idea of what keeps me from living with my whole heart: fear of man, scarcity, anxiety, control, searching for comfort,

Check out these uses of "wholeheartedness" in Scripture:

• “I will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me wholeheartedly.” Jeremiah 24:7

• ‘“Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.' Isaiah 38:3

The beauty of this is that there is no one way for all of us to live from our heart and with our whole heart. The concept is the same, but the way it works out for each of us is different.

Helpful practices we can engage to become wholehearted:

1. Live simply where you can. If you define your self worth in terms of what you produce or consume, you’ll find yourself always longing for more with less satisfaction with yourself right now.

2. Be vulnerable. Don’t carry the false self and reject the true self. Brené Brown, quoted in an article here, says “our capacity for whole-heartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted.”

3. Know whose you are. When you live from a place of fragmentation, you will constantly try and find meaning and security in the places of your identity.

4. Monitor your inner being. Where are you in unrest? Gordon MacDonald says, “your inner space is larger than outer space.” When the most true and inner parts of you are fragmented, you live a life of managing brokenness. You are constantly responding to yourself, others, and situations in unhealthy ways.

5. What makes you feel most alive and whole, meaning what gives you life and feels effortless that fills up your cup rather than emptying your cup?

For me, this has been a journey. A really long journey. One that has taken the paths of counseling, self-reflection, extended conversation with my wife, community, and time with God.

In some ways, this blog is the fruit of that journey (though the journey still very much continues). I’ve realized that I feel most alive using my giftings of thinking deeply, writing, and creating.

Is this blog the final and best use of these giftings? Probably not. But when I consider the practices that lead from fragmentation to wholeheartedness above, I can’t help but move towards writing, creating, and thinking deeply.

My counselor has said something many times to me, borrowed from John Eldredge, that has stuck in my mind as the key to unlock wholeheartedness: “you are meant to be filled with the glory of God.”

Maybe even better said by Saint Irenaeus, “the glory of God is a man fully alive.” Think about that. God’s glory is best displayed through the gift of his children becoming fully alive. And to be fully alive is to be wholehearted.

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P.S. I’m currently reading Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive by John Eldredge and will likely have some additional thoughts on wholeheartedness soon.